The Surgeon General’s Warning: Overwhelmed and Under-resourced Parents
There are immeasurable joys of parenting. And I’d love to write about that, but right now it feels more important to acknowledge an advisory made by the surgeon general declaring parental mental health an urgent public health issue. What most parents everywhere already know: Parenting is overwhelming. It's stressful. It's exhausting. And sometimes, it feels like we're just barely holding it together. We're constantly worried about whether we're doing enough, whether our kids are happy and healthy, and how we will ever get it all done.
Parental stress and mental health concerns are a pressing issue, taking a significant toll on parents. Many of us are dealing with loneliness, anxiety, and overwhelm. And many of us are suffering in silence. I hear all the time about parents feeling totally isolated in their parenting struggles and how they are lacking support and services, only making the stress of it all that much worse. The absence of adequate systems and support, leads to severe consequences for families and society as a whole.
You may have all kinds of feelings come up around this warning - frustration, anger, relief to name a few. I feel both grateful that this is being acknowledged and am also truly frustrated — it's about damn time.
As parents, we're constantly juggling a million different responsibilities. And on top of the pressure to be the 'perfect' parent, we're also dealing with the enormous weight of real-life concerns such as financial stress, limited resources, school safety issues, bullying, the dark side of social media, and the heartbreaking rise in youth suicide rates. It's no wonder we're often lying awake at night, worrying if we're doing enough to keep our kids safe and healthy. I often hear from clients, and know well myself, we are struggling with feeling inadequate and are excessively stressed, which has a profound impact on all areas of our life. Now the numbers from the advisory speak loud and clear:
33% of parents report high levels of stress in the past month compared to 20% of other adults.
48% of parents say that most days, their stress is completely overwhelming compared to 26% among other adults.
I am hoping that addressing these issues raised by the advisory can lead to improvements - more parents feeling open to talk about their struggles and ask for help, more services for families and children, better daycare and childcare options, more affordable programming, and paid time off/flexibility at the workplace, acknowledging the vital role of parenting in society… A girl can dream.
Though perhaps this is a starting place for real action. As the U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy stated, “Parents have a profound impact on the health of our children and the health of society. Yet parents and caregivers today face tremendous pressures… With this Advisory, I am calling for a fundamental shift in how we value and prioritize the mental health and well-being of parents. I am also outlining policies, programs, and individual actions we can all take to support parents and caregivers.”
In the meantime, please speak up. Share honestly about how you are doing. Try to ask for help to those around you. I know as a parent when I am able to help another parent, I feel as much relief as I do when I get the help myself. When we facing tough times together, and find a sense of community and belonging, we can better cope and find greater resilience. This collective connection can reduce the effects of toxic stress. Let’s all start acknowledging the serious impacts of parenting on our mental health and wellbeing. By doing so, we can work towards creating a more empathetic and supportive environment that encourages parents to seek help when needed, without fear of judgment. And let’s continue to advocate for systemic change, to ensure more access to reliable and effective support.
Parenting is a heavy burden to carry, especially when we feel isolated in our struggle. It’s about time we start talking about it and even more so - doing something about it. So, to all the parents out there who are feeling overwhelmed and stressed, I see you. I hear you. You’re not alone.
Somatic Therapy for Overwhelmed Parents in NC
If you’re a parent in North Carolina struggling with the impact of burnout and overwhelm, I’ve got you. I help parents who are struggling with the feeling of navigating a sense of insurmountable stress in today’s world. When we are up against so much stress, we likely are operating in survival mode, stuck in responses of fight/flight/freeze. Somatic therapy can help support a greater sense of capacity and regulation, so that we can feel better equipped and supported in navigating these challenges. If you’re interested in learning more, check out my website here.